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[15 Sep 2005|06:33pm] |
copyin alice and workin on a new livejournal!!!
dont know wut its going to be yet... soo umm check back later or my profile or other ppls livejournals or something
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[12 Sep 2005|10:02pm] |
get my act together
to start caring
stop caring about other things
be nice
be appreciative
be understanding
shut my mother fucking mouth
step out of my comfort zone
see from a different perspective
be more passionate in what i choose to do
start building
stop hiding
figure stuff out
make decisions
do what im afraid to do
focus
and
run
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[12 Sep 2005|06:25pm] |
i feel like this is not going to be a good year.
please something prove my theory/feeling wrong
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| conclusion-no matter how much we bitch, we end up just having to deal with it one step at a time |
[11 Sep 2005|11:26pm] |
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mood |
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 *sigh* |
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fuck it.
so i had this whole big bitch entry typed out. but i deleted it. because i wanna say it all in a more summed up way. or atleast try to. (y am i even saying this...? w/e)
we all want so much that we cant have. and then we contradict our selves.
i mean like world peace, and happiness for all. or something along those lines. we want to feed the hungry in africa, we want to stop war, we want this we want that. but what if everyone was truly happy. wut if what if what if. everything would be so boring. everything would be pointless. we would have nothing left to fight for.
why are humans so fucking contradicting? and hypocritical??? g-d damnit.
yes yes i know im guilty of it too.
but like wtf?!
what makes people think that they are so fucking special?!?! like ok, so we ARE special in that no one is like n e one else or w/e but AAAAAAAHHHHHH
everythings become so complicated.
its like down south hurrican katrina came and physically has caused all this misery. but here its like one group of friends. (or more idk) and their families... we all generate SO MUCH EMOTION... its like theres hurricane katrina here... cept in emotion form. its tearing apart friendships. drowning people in their smallest mistakes. blowing away any hint of hope for n e thing that there may have been. raking up all the anger and just throwing it somewhere. i mean UGH i know this is normal. these emotional wrecks come and go all the time. but its just... so much right now.
and its true. we are in highschool now. we are getting our licenses. we are growing up. were maturing, or who knows immaturing. we are all changing. our selves individually, our friends, our relationships with other people, the way we handle things, deciding what we are doing with the rest of our lives, to be insecure or not to be insecure. some of us are rushing so fast forward, that they/we are leaving a part of us behind. so are refusing to move forward so quickly, and are being left behind. others have wondered off into dark alleyways coming near a dead end. others have found there way into a high high tree and found the top, but now dont know how to get down. we are all so fucking confused. we are all so fucking fucked up in so many ways.
lets make it simpler, so its just that much easier. - how uninteresting right?
oh how it sux not to be able to have the best of both worlds.
no, how it sux to not be able to have the best of ALL worlds.
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[11 Sep 2005|11:37am] |
finally caught up on sleep.
one problem- it lets me think clearly
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[10 Sep 2005|05:42pm] |
so umm... vbl tourney today not too bad
interesting i guess.
lost against centenniel... BUT... heres the deal. it was a three way tie for 1st
because...
we beat rantoul
centenniel beat us
rantoul beat centenniel
so then it went o matches.
we were all 2 and 1
so then it went to games. and rantoul had 4 wins 3 losses. we had 4 wins 2 losses. and centenniel had 5 wins and 2 losses. so they got first.. but its bogus cuz WE didnt get a chance to get a 5th win or w/e like idk .... so it SHOULD have been by losses since rantoul and centenniel went to 3 games. sigh cuz then it wud have gone to points. and WE WOULD HAVE GOTTEN FIRST DAMNIT! lol but thats ok... im over it. its just annoying
anyways... so im REALLY tired all of a sudden... BUT I WANT TO DO SOMETHING!!
the day that I DONT WORK, EVERYONE is like gone..... or working... or cant do n e thing... its so sad. damnit
*sigh*
maybe ill go take a nap or something... idk
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[06 Sep 2005|06:26pm] |
i hate being on my period
it makes everything seem so much worse
so much more dramatic and confusing
*sigh*
i really need to stop expecting things... cuz it just doesnt work
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[05 Sep 2005|11:20am] |
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so jenni is leaving tomorrow morning. and it REALLY feels like the summer is over!!
like omg... wtf....
i cant believe it.
like i knwo ive been in skool for like a week now but still. like idk... schools school and its the same old bull shit just a diff day. as always right? and like idk... and it seems like more people do stuff during the school year than during the summer. or maybe thats just cuz that was the summer after freshman year. idk.
but yea and people are already starting to turn 16. and its like no wait stop. REWIND we are NOT turning 16 yet are we???? like i mean ive always felt a little bit older than i actually am. but its like... the fact that we are actually turning 16. actually starting to drive. actually getting jobs and like all this other stuff.
are we seriously begining to grow up? yes. well in some ways no. we are still the immature teenagers who do dumb things. but hey we are teenagers we are allowed to do that!!
but idk... im excited to be getting my license and everyone else too... but dude thats a lot of power.... lol i know i sound retarded but seriously.
i mean. i dont know what i mean but....
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
like idk... im so scared!~! lol
g-d im so scared of this yr. like this summer was good and bad, and like this past month has been VERY emotional and rocky.... and idk if that means that thats how this whole yr is going to be, i just have this nasty gut feeling that this yr is going to suck. well like itll be good like lots of good and fun things will happen. but like at the same time i feel like LOTS of bad things will happen. like not just with me. but i mean everyone! like our sophmore class seems very like... umm... idk how to explain it. like i think this how the whole world is. but its like either
1. if one person is having a sucky day EVERYONE is having a sucky day
or
2. one person is like depressed etc. while someone else is like ignoring wuts going on in their life. then as soon as the one person starts being not depressed. the other becomes depressed. like passing around feelings and taking turns.
and its like theres ALWAYS something going on. and like ALWAYS some sort of emotional thing.... like idk
i dont even know why im rambling about thsi... well because i dont really have n e thing better to do right now i guess?
ay
im just gna shut up now... lol
...
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[03 Sep 2005|02:04am] |
so shit guys
the music is smokin though me.... !!!
oo wow im at graces house just chillin lookin at the stars and stuff....
i miss ,.....
i miss it
~grace and kiko!!
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[31 Aug 2005|10:16pm] |
someone please just make me cry
just make me cry it all out
until theres nothing left
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| yea about that.... vbl.... |
[31 Aug 2005|05:40pm] |
there was no point getting excited
there was no point trying
just another heart ache
just another fit
a waste of money
a waste of time
a waste of energy
im done
im done with this
and im dont with crying over this
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[28 Aug 2005|09:38am] |
this is whats been dreaded
the stress
the drama
the confusion
the lies
the cover ups
his fucking pride issue
his fucking habits
her fucking bitching
her fucking hurricanes
their fucking lack of love
the sitting in silence
the unconprehensable homework
the contradiction
the "lost in my own fucking world"
the jealousy
the competition
the goodbyes
the betrayal
then the loyalty
the trying
the crying
the pain
but thats all life.
it happens time and time again
only if you really did get stonger for every tear you shed.
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[26 Aug 2005|11:31pm] |
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AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[23 Aug 2005|09:44am] |
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mood |
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 WHOAAAAA |
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music |
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OF ALL THE GIN JOINTS IN ALL THE WORLD |
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oooo dang
this summer has definately gone by EXTREMELY fast... its like INSANE
VERY EMOTIONAL AND CRAZY but lots of fun. but im very ready for school. even though i still cant believe its tomorrow. i mean like... wtf?!?!?! lol
oo man
so ok EVERYONE HELP ME!! lol for the next 3 months I HAVE TO BE GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!
1. i hacve vbl i cant be actin all stupid and shiiiiiiiit hehe
and
2. I GET MY LICENSE IN 3 MONTHS!!
i cant fuck that up
and
3.i just got in trouble a week or two ago and itll take about 3 months for it to pass. maybe a little longer but
i HAVE to be as good as possible for the next 3 months!!
so like i said everyone HELP ME!!! lol hehe
whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa everyone enjoy today!!!
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[21 Aug 2005|10:05pm] |
holy shit
like... 3 more days.... not even??????????????????????????
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